Guest Blogger - Cali Mueller

Although I know that you should never begin a story with this lead in, I am going to do it anyway.  I am nervous.  This is the first time that I have ever used a computer, and for that matter, the English language.  I will give it a shot though.  Last Saturday morning began like any other here in NYC, the Big Apple, The Empire State, home of Jay-Z.  God I love Jay-Z.  He can drop the beats.  Sorry, I digress.  Saturday morning began with me hopping out of bed around 4 am to poop in a litter box, and then trying to grab a few more hours of sleep despite my parents snoring.  We eventually woke up, and it was time to begin the routine terror.  Terror you ask?  Allow me to give you a glimpse into the life of a newly arrived NYC miniature wiener dog who is 3 inches tall and only weighs 8 pounds.  Ok, 10…the bakeries here are irresistible.  Lay off me. 

I wake up every morning to be walked across a hot street with noises and smells I have never before experienced.  I am lucky if water isn’t pouring from above into my sponge-like fur.  Once I barely make it across the street with my life, my mom or dad, or sometimes both, drag me onto a slab of bricks and start yelling “Go Potty!” in uncharacteristically high pitched voices.  It’s so annoying.  Then, usually right as I am about to get started, another dog, or dogs (plural), walks right over to me shoving and barking with a weird and terrible accent.   Sometimes they have earphones in.  Those are the worst.  So far I have been assaulted, rained on, yelled at by a homeless dog, almost stepped on, scared by monster shadows, and the other day, and this is no joke, a limousine drove by in the rain, hit a puddle and splashed me.  Where was my dad you might ask?  Staring at his smart phone.

So, back to Saturday.  We begin the routine.  Then after I do my business we keep going.  Block by block we walk through the hot and smelly city.  Just when I am about to throw in the towel and simply sit, I see a familiar sight.  Is that a park?  In the city?  I think the sign says something like “Central Park,” but again, I don’t know English.  We walk in, and out of nowhere my mom takes my collar off.  That’s right, she removes the leash.  I’m free!  I’m free!  I run around.  I can literally feel my heart in my chest I am so excited.  We eventually get to a path that is actually made of forest as opposed to pavement.  I’ll never forget it.  The sign said, “The Ramble.”  We take it.  I dart down the path with the excitement of Kyle Shoop digging into chocolate cake.  I go left, I go right, I go up and I go down.  There are trees, trails, bushes, and even a lake.  You can see the picture of my mom and me on the bridge looking into the lake.  I’m a forest dog, I’m fast like the wind.  It felt like it lasted all day.  The smells, the freedom.  If you told me a week ago that Cali Mueller would ever make this next statement, I would have slapped you in the face with my paw and called you a liar.  Here it is though, “I liked the ramble better than fetch.” Thanks mom and dad.  I have a new outlook on NYC now.  As Jay Z once said, if you can make it here you can make it anywhere.  I think I am going to be alright.  I’m a rambler.

Checking out the lake